


Logic? Never Heard of Her

by YaBoiTheGurl



Series: Wow Panic Attacks Galore (DEH) [1]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Evan has a thing for this soft blanket, Jared's A Good Friend, Literally just Evan having a panic attack and Jared helping, Panic Attacks, Stims, bless these sweet boys, but otherwise theyre just Really Good Friends, if you squint and tilt your head theyre dating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 18:05:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14290380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YaBoiTheGurl/pseuds/YaBoiTheGurl
Summary: In which Evan has one of his very few panic attacks, and Jared helps! (also Heidi I love you)





	Logic? Never Heard of Her

**Author's Note:**

> wOwOw this took like two weeks to write and im a little mad abt tht lol 
> 
> but! hey! DEH! i love deh. ah. ok. but. ok. ah. OK BUT. evans such a cutie. fff.
> 
> enjoy pls <3

"What do you want?" Jared's voice sounded far away, and the gentle roar of his car filled the empty space. He was driving, Evan shouldn't be calling him, this was dangerous. What if he crashed? OhGod, what if he crashed while he was on the phone and it was all his fault? "Helloooo? Earth to Evan? Why the hell are you calling?" Oh no he's upset, say something Evan.

"I- uh-" Evan took in a breath, but it sounded like a gasp. 

"Evan?"

Evan squeaked out something like an apology, but it was really half-assed and he almost sounded drunk- or not drunk? Words weren't easy right now, and he's beginning to think he lost his voice. Over a stupid fucking thing too what the hell.

"Hey, seriously, dude, you're freaking me out. Can't you say something?"

He couldn't form a sound this time, instead breathing rapidly. He hung up and dropped his phone, curling up on the couch. Why'd he have to go and do that? Now Jared is confused and pissed at him and he messed everything up oh god. 

His phone vibrated from the floor and Evan looked at with blurry eyes. His trembling hands scooped up the phone again and he squinted at the screen. It took him a couple tries, but he finally understood it was a text from Jared. He opened the text.

From: Jared Cleanman at 4:33 PM

Tell me five things you see

Evan knew this routine. Five things you see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. Maybe this is why he texted Jared, just to get these messages as a weak attempt to calm down. He wasn't sure if it'd work but it was too late to go back now.

To: Jared Cleanman at 4:45 PM

the rocking chair, coffee table, magazine, coffee cup, mom's jacket

As a second thought, he added in another message:

To: Jared Cleanman at 4:45 PM

she left her jacket here when she went to work. it's cold outside.

From: Jared Cleanman at 4:45 PM

What are four things you can touch Ev?

Evan's fingers curled around the crochet blanket his mom bought years ago. It was one of his few comfort items. It made him think of how much she's sacrificed for him, and how much he appreciates her and how she wished she didn't have to work so hard all the time. She was really smart and deserved a lot better than to take care of someone like him. Someone like him, who was broken and scared almost all the time, who couldn't handle it being so quiet all the time. Evan realized he hadn't replied to Jared, and continued their conversation. Well, was it really a conversation? It was really just Jared just asking a question and Evan giving him an answer. It doesn't feel like it. He's wasting his time. Although he might get angry if he doesn't reply soon, so he writes his response timidly.

To: Jared Cleanman at 4:49 PM

crochet blanket, couch, phone, couch pillow. the one with the weird looking farm on it, from my grandparents

From: Jared Cleanman at 4:49 PM

Three things you can hear

To: Jared Cleanman at 4:53 PM

my breathing, the heater? idk jared its quiet and loud at the same time

From: Jared Cleanman at 4:53 PM 

You're doing great, Ev, two things you can smell

To: Jared Cleanman at 4:55 PM

tea and home. weird how home is a smell

From: Jared Cleanman at 4:56 PM

Almost done, one thing you can taste

To: Jared Cleanman at 4:58 PM

tea and toothpaste. it's gross.

From: Jared Cleanman at 4:58 PM

I'm gonna come in, okay?

To: Jared Cleanman at 4:59 PM 

ok

Evan dropped his phone in his lap as he scrubbed his face. Calm down. Stop freaking out. You're fine. Probably. Maybe. Oh God why did it have to be so quiet?

The front door opened, making him jump up from the couch. He pulled down his shirt with one hand and gripped his blanket with the other, blinking rapidly to rid himself of his tears. The door closed, there was a pause, and then Jared peeked out from the kitchen. "'Sup, acorn."

Evan scowled at the nickname, and went to voice his distaste, but his voice wouldn't surface and he realized that maybe he shouldn't have tried, because maybe he would have fucked it up and Jared would just laugh and make fun of him and his stutter and oh god his breathing was getting funny again and-

And Jared was in front of him, taking the blanket from his hand and wrapping it around him tightly. Numbly, he grabbed a hold of the blanket and rubbed it between his fingers, heart seizing in his chest. 

"C'mere, let's sit down," Jared said calmly, guiding Evan back to the couch and sitting next to him. "Feeling better?" Evan gave him a look that was something between annoyed and desperate. "Alright, better than earlier, at least?" Evan nodded. "Wanna watch something?" Evan shrugged, and Jared nodded. "I'll just pick something then."

After picking something on youtube and propping his phone up against Evan's tea cup, Jared asked, "Hungry?" Evan shook his head, sniffling unevenly. "No, didn't think so. Need another blanket?" Evan paused, then shook his head, cuddling deeper into his crochet blanket. "Just lemme know if you need anything, man."

They were about three videos in when Evan's breathing started to level out. It took another four videos for his breathing to go back to normal, and another video for him to start feeling sleepy. Granted, the video was shorter than the others, but everything swooped in all at once and he just. Felt exhausted. Also, his throat hurt, but he wasn't going to bother Jared with something so. Childish? Whatever, he wasn't gonna say anything.

Halfway through another video, Evan felt himself leaning over on Jared's side, but he didn't really register it until Jared shifted. He flinched away like he had been burned, but Jared was pulling him back and telling him it was fine, to let him get comfortable so they wouldn't fall asleep sitting up. It's how Heidi found them later when she came home, exhausted and ready to pass out on the couch. Both boys were slumbering peacefully on the couch. Evan was tucked in his crochet blanket, laying on top of/beside Jared, who had an arm securing Evan from falling off and his other arm hanging off the couch. She watched them for a moment with an adoring smile before swiftly walking away and coming back with a blanket to cover them both. With the blanket on top of them both, the boys shifted in their sleep. Jared rested his chin on top of Evan's head, who was comfortably snuggled into his chest. Heidi snapped a few pictures with her phone before silently escaping into her room.

**Author's Note:**

> ok but fr i wish i had a blanket like that. like i have this one thats kinda scratchy but i hung it up to block sunlight out cause screw sun in the morning, i live in the darkness
> 
> what do you think? im working on getting back into the groove of stories! all! the! time! ish! these have been in my notes for MONTHS and i got tired of SEEING IT SIT THERE so i did something about it. yay progress!!
> 
> i rly hope you enjoyed, although i understand if you didn't! nothing is perfect and i don't expect anything to turn out perfect!


End file.
